What am I doing?

I wish I could make up my mind.

I know for sure that I still have feelings for this guy,

but I also know for almost sure that he doesn't give two fucks about me anymore.

And now, the real problem.

This guy who I've known for two years, who likes me. I mean,

A LOT.

I told him today that I would date him, but just not get too serious.

Yesterday, I would have told him I just want to be friends.

Tomorrow it might be something completely different, but that doesn't matter because he already thinks we're going to.. or are.. dating.

I don't even know.

I just cannot make up my mind about this boy.

All I know is that I don't feel nearly as strongly about him as I did/do/i dont even know anymore about one of his closest friends,

who I met at a party that HE invited me to.

but that turned out to be a disappointment, and now this guy is coming after me,

like crazy,

and I don't even know whether or not I like him like that.

Sometimes I think no, but other times its yes.

But I know for sure that I absolutely LOVE him as a person and a friend.

What the fuck am I doing?

It's not okay

To be cruel.

To people, or animals or any other living thing you can think of.

Stop doing it, douche-bags.

Just fucking stop.

Go Go Go

JOSEPH!

ha. Just saw my school's production of the musical,

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

I am in a great mood now.

I just love musicals.

Like a million of my friends were in it, and they ALL did amazing. I absolutely loved it.

I've had a rough week, and I am SO glad I went and saw this.

It was a really great way to end the week and put a positive spin on everything.

I feel a lot better today about what has happened and I feel I'm ready to move on.

I'm letting myself be happy despite anything and everything.

I'm not going to worry about things like boys and relationships and worrying about my future.

I'm just going to let life happen and be happy with it.

Our world can only be at peace if we allow it to be.

You'd think that after so many times

I would learn my lesson.

I'm going to sleep,

I'm killing my alarm clock before it kills me.

Hit the floor, and I'll never wake again.

Girl meets Boy.

Imagine a party:

Girls and boys, just relaxing, talking, watching a movie, etc.

Boy sits on the floor.

Girl makes the decision to sit next to boy.

Girl and Boy hit it off instantly.

flash forward, almost a week later.

Boy and girl have been talking constantly everyday and they have total chemistry.

It is so obvious.

They both know it,

their friends know it,

it is known.

Girl realizes that not only do they have "chemistry", but she really, really likes boy.

A lot.

boy has amazing taste in music,

boy and girl can talk for ever and not run out of conversation.

Boy is not exactly "traditionally" cute,

but girl thinks he is TOTALLY adorable anyways

because of his amazing personality and epic coolness.

And the fact that boy plays bass doesn't hurt, either.

Girl reaally hopes this works out.

Because I really, really like him.

Fashion is Danger

Happy Halloween!

Well, day after Halloween.

This week could not have been more fabulous.

First of all, we only had two days of school. Monday and Tuesday (right after fall break!) and then Wednesday Thursday and Friday were snow days.

Then.

Friday night alex and I went to a Halloween party. And what happened? I met a sweet dude! yeah!

Then I spent ALL day Halloween talking to him over fb chat and texting.

I also went shopping that day and got a really awesome dress!

AND saw a CUTE guy dressed as Harry Potter at old navy!! WOW!

Finally, Halloween Night. Alex and Austin came over and we went out trick or treating and then came home and watched House on Haunted Hill. Alex was pretty freaked out. Funny shit.

Then we went upstairs, where my mother was having a party, and was a little tipsy.

She gave us hard apple cider.

And Alex got drunk.

Now THAT is entertainment.

Finally we went back down at like 1 and watched Meet The Parents and fell asleep.

Great night. Awesome way to end this week.